...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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