I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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