Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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