chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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