PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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