and you said cock pushups were impossible
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize