I love black thongs
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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