plz talk dirty to me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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