I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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