I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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