Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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