so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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