I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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