Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize