Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize