I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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