I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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