Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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