She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize