Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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