my sisters under your porch take her home
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize