i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize