Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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