I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize