there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize