Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
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I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So here I am, sexting at work.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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