If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize