you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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