So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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