Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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