Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.

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  (917): i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does. http://tfl.nu/fsmd
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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  (847): after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit." http://tfl.nu/sc5b
  Replies (15) Good night (746) Bad night (6838)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day

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  (334): just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day http://tfl.nu/5gym
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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  (602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9101) Bad night (1344)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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  (256): No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gby7
  Replies (25) Good night (9115) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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  (503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh
  Replies (10) Good night (1612) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.

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  (717): the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home. http://tfl.nu/v69g
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1524) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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  (512): I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/ch97
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  (914): View more from New York

  We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer

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  (914): We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer http://tfl.nu/h5p8
  Replies (11) Good night (688) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.

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  (714): Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer. http://tfl.nu/wp0z
  Replies (11) Good night (952) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.

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  (773): who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this. http://tfl.nu/j8g2
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

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