The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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