i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize