I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Alive.
So much puke
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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