it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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