I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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