Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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