that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize