Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize