oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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