I want to walk on stilts...naked
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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