Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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