He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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