We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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