i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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