i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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