'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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