South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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