WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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