take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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